The Math Didn’t Work in the US. It Did Here.

I paid off $50,000 in student loan debt in a few years while raising my son alone. I didn’t go out much. I didn’t buy things I didn’t need. I chose to be home in the evenings and on weekends instead of out. At the time I didn’t think of it as a choice. It just felt like the right thing to do. That same instinct is how I ended up in Cambodia with my daughter and more time than I’ve ever had.

That’s how most of my decisions have worked. Not grand plans. Just a quiet sense of what needs to happen next.

When Cami was 11 months old I moved to Cambodia. I couldn’t afford single parenthood in the United States and I wanted something different for her. People thought I was brave. I thought I was practical. The math didn’t work in the US. It did here.

What I didn’t fully understand until we got here was what I was actually choosing. Not just a lower cost of living. Time. Presence. The ability to be with her all day and talk with her the way I had always talked with my kids.

That is where everything else comes from.

Everything. 

The conversations that build articulate children don’t happen in a vacuum. They happen in the margins of a life that has enough space for them. Every choice I made that looked like a sacrifice was really just me clearing away what didn’t fit to make room for what did.

I’m not telling you to move to Cambodia. I’m not telling you to pay off your debt or stay home on Friday nights. I’m telling you that presence is a choice and it looks different for everyone. But it is always a choice.

You don’t need a perfect setup. You need a conversation and enough quiet to have it.

The parent who talks with their child on the bus ride home is doing the same thing I’m doing in Cambodia. The parent who narrates the grocery run is building the same foundation. The circumstances are different. The method is the same.

You are not alone in wanting something different.

And different doesn’t have to look like mine.

The unfiltered version of these stories lives in my emails. That’s where I say the things I hold back here. 

If you’re looking for a simple starting point, I put together a free guide on building vocabulary through everyday moments. You can start with that here.

And if you want the full story of how we got here, the book is on Amazon.