Screen time wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. The TV went off at a certain time. Kids shows aired at certain times of the day and when they were over they were over. The television regulated itself and nobody gave it much thought.
Now the options never end. Something is always available and the guilt around it is constant. Parents are told to limit screen time without anyone defining what that actually means or why.
I stopped using the term a while ago. Not because screens don’t matter but because the word limit was never the point.
What I do instead is monitor. I hand pick every show Cami watches. I know what information she’s receiving, how the content is paced, and what it’s building in her. That changes how I see the time she spends watching.
The other night we were looking at the sky and I was explaining Jupiter and Venus. I said we live on planet — and before I could finish she said earth. Right with me. She learned that word from The Magic School Bus. I know because I know everything she watches.
Our TV doesn’t come on until the afternoon. We have a morning routine with reading, playing, cooking, moving, etc. By the time the TV comes on she’s already had a full day of conversation and engagement. An hour of something I’ve chosen carefully doesn’t undo that.
I also watch her while she watches. If she’s glued to it I’ll have her say goodbye at the end of the episode and we’ll move on. Sometimes she cries for a second. I remind her that behavior like that means no TV tomorrow. Then she stops.
That’s not limiting. That’s teaching her that screens have endings and that she has a say in the transition — but so do I.
I’m also a single parent. Sometimes the TV buys me twenty minutes to think or cook or breathe. I don’t feel guilty about that. I know what she’s watching and that makes all the difference.
Screen time isn’t the problem. Unmonitored screen time is. And the difference between the two is simply paying attention.
The unfiltered version of these stories lives in my emails. That’s where I say the things I hold back here.
If you’re looking for a simple starting point, I put together a free guide on building vocabulary through everyday moments. You can start with that here.
If you’d like to read more, you can find my book, Your Daughter Is Weird…, here.